SEO Crimes Against Humanity

The day started out as any other. Checking mails, G+ and Face in the morning.
Shifting trough the garbage, spam and the hordes of Indian professional spammers disguised as “bloggers”, “SEOs” trying to sell me shitty services using horrible English.

One e-mail caught my eye however. Here is an unedited copy of the e-mail:

“Subject: Please check my All Theme high quality sites
Hello mate,

 

Please see my high quality websites

www.5emusic.com 3 music
www.fartcanalley.com 3 automotive
www.cthealps.com 3 health
www.alliedprofessionals.org 3 business
www.gegschools.com 3 education
www.makingsenseofdiabetes.com 3 health
www.campingatapple.com 4 health
www.suburbanblight.net 4 lighting
www.dichcum.org 4 health
www.symphar.info 4 health
www.exploitation.info 4 exploitation
www.marvinminsky.com 4 home & family
www.bagsinstock.com 4 bag
www.l4hcr.org 4 home improvment
www.mynasalwash.com 4 automotive
www.ohmytukee.com 4 loans
www.ersv.org 4 real estate
www.starkracing.com 4 automotive
www.pbafantasygame.net 4 games
www.elektrocrats.com 4 elextronic
www.johntrembley.com 4 home & family
www.wmpllc.net 4 home improvement
www.dslhomeinternet.com 4 home
www.seeroadconditions.net 4 automotive
www.multicorreos.com 4 automotive
www.nisekocabs.com 4 Wedding information
6 Month link price

PR4=70$

Blog post i write price

PR4=20$

If you want to Buy please show me details where you interested in buying Links Or Posts

Looking forward your Positive Reply

Many thankx

Best regards,

Ladly Khan”

 

I have no idea what “ All Theme high quality sites” mean but something in me wanted check them out.
What I have seen are crimes, SEO crimes , SEO crimes against humanity*.

*nerd moment
definition : “Crimes against humanity are particularly odious offenses in that they constitute a serious attack on human dignity or grave humiliation or a degradation of human beings.

Let’s look at these so called “All Theme high quality sites”

http://l4hcr.org/

indian_spammer_3

 

I didn’t expect much from a “blog” named l4hcr.org and I got exactly what I expected.

You can notice a pattern with this guy by the way. He does not wait much to drop his link.

 

indian_spammer_4

 

Truer words were never said. :) Just try to read the article. I dare you.

“Whenever you hear regarding the phrases “mattress”, what sort of form of mattress which will cross into your intellect?”

The fuck?

“Is it a chubby pad which lies as part of your mattress home?”

My mattress home ?!? O.o

At least he did not drop the link in the first sentence this time.

The proof of the pudding is in the eating so let’s take a gander at another one.

 

http://mynasalwash.com/

 

If you are like me you might have not guessed that this actually a car blog. Yes you heard that right, a car blog…

 

indian_spammer_5

 

I always wondered. I lie awake at nights drenched in cold sweat clutching my knees and slowly rocking back and forth on my bed. Trying to find the answer to this question. It seems like my prayers have finally been answered.  Finally I will know.

To spare you from reading this “thing” I will telly you how -according to the writer- urethane cushion make driving transport motor vehicles more relaxed.

 

“The ultimate noticeable advantage of by using a urethane cushion is it restores automobile height.”

Hmmm. How esoteric…*

*nerd moment
definition : “intended for or likely to be understood by only a small number of people with a specialized knowledge or interest”

 

indian_spammer_6

 

I honestly don’t know.  :)

 

www.dcs1.net

 

indian_spammer_7

 

At least he protects his stock photos with hotlink protection…

From the article:

“Do you think you’re enthusiastic about hunting out for some top rated excellent household furniture for a magnanimous makeover of one’s property?”

Well, do you? :)

 

indian_spammer_8

 

To make it 100% clear the keywords are bold. This “blogger” is all for usability and  readability and structure.

Never mind, that the article makes no sense tough.

 

Ok let’s look at just one more.

 

http://commodoreuk.com/

indian_spammer_1

 

“My floors Flooring” O.o  This is bad and just as funny, extremely funny. Look at that enormity of an anchor text, it has more keywords in it than butter in Paula Dean’s dishes.

It has some local stuff thrown in as well for good measure.

From the article:

“But, at My Floors Flooring America, its experienced sales associates which have extensive training on each type of flooring, will be glad to help you out to choose what they believe is the largest flooring selection including ceramic tile, hardwood, laminate flooring, and vinyl flooring.”

This one single sentence taken from the article mentions “flooring” five times! Not to mention this would be too promotional even for a payday loan company.

 

indian_spammer_2

 

:) Just imagine using this sentence in real life. I can see it all in front of me.

Random people just walk by a fence. Glaring at fence like object as it gleams and glistens in the glaring sun and slowly -with shaking lips- murmuring the question to end all questions:

 

“ What exactly is The Fantastic Fence Style and design On your Residence?”

Nope. Just no.

This is an unnatural keyword-stuffed, tortured sentence, which was probably auto-generated by some article spinner software. Let’s look at the other monstrosities (Calling them blogs would be an insult to blogs everywhere.)

http://nextplore.com/

 

Well at least the domain name appears to be allright and it is indeed a travel blog as the name would suggest. So this might be the one genuine blog.

 

indian_spammer_9

 

Oh well…
Link bombing is also back.

 

indian_spammer_10

 

The what?
From the article:

 

indian_spammer_11

 

Now this is bad article spinning!

 

indian_spammer_12

 

And that’s it ladies and gentlemen. We are done.

 

Bonus: 

 

My response to the guy’s spam mail :

 

indian_spammer_response

(In case you can’t read it, here is a bigger version of the picture.)

For more funny shenanigans check out the Part 1 of my “Funniest Spam Comments” series. As you read this I’m writing part 2 . Stay tuned!

If you happen to gamble online you might want to check out my personal gambling blog  as well.

Have fun!

One Thought on “SEO Crimes Against Humanity

  1. I worked for a company like that here in the US for about 4 weeks. They had people in Eastern Europe writing the websites. UGH I could not take any more bad English, misspellings, just horrible really!!!
    Carole McCabe-Joy recently posted…Gold Medalist Ryan Lochte Parties At PURE In Vegas!My Profile

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